The fact that you are reading this article means that you are acknowledging that you feel guilty over something that not all people do – casual sex. Although doing such does not bring about a huge fuss nowadays anymore, many people still do feel guilty the moment they see the light of the day and find out they are naked in some stranger’s bed. You just might be one of those people, but don’t freak out. The guilt you feel is completely normal. You just have to know your way out of it.
Get your life together
When guilt starts creeping behind your back, don’t let it devour you. If you do, you’re putting yourself out in the open. You start to feel vulnerable and weak and slutty and possibly all sorts of things that can get your self-esteem to go dropping full throttle. The first thing you need to do is to accept that everything has been said and done. You can’t just rewind and undo everything. The least you can do is to stop over-thinking things because it will only make matters worse. Do away with all the whining and the self-loathing. You need a sound mind to get through this.
Ask yourself why you did it in the first place
By asking yourself why, you’re digging deeper into yourself and your desires. If you have felt that nagging aftereffect called ‘guilt’ right after the action, perhaps you might want to re-evaluate your wants. Sometimes when we don’t exactly know what we want, we end up trying things and feeling dissatisfied all the while. Start by asking yourself, “Did I actually want this to happen?” or more importantly, “did I have fun?” If you answered yes to those questions, give yourself a pat in the back for a job well done. Why feel guilty when you’ve just had the best time of your life?
Tell yourself “it’s okay”
Because it is, unless it was not your decision in the first place, or worse, you did not like the sex. It may not be appropriate for everybody; it could be for you as long as you are doing it “safely” while also living in the moment. After all, it was your choice to engage in that sexual encounter in the first place. Other people do not have anything to do with that. If you think it was all a mistake and is not happening again, then consider thinking that people make mistakes all the time – and that’s okay. Just get a hold of yourself, go out, and start with a clean slate.
Know your boundaries
Now that you know there’s nothing you should be guilty about, set boundaries. If you have completely and wholeheartedly decided to engage in casual sex, keep a list of rules or guidelines for you to follow. Don’t expect too much. Avoid commitments. Most of all, keep it ‘casual’. The fact alone that you feel guilty right after the sex means that you have not considered your limitations in this kind of situation. You are lost and confused on why you have done it or why you feel bad about it. From the looks of it, you definitely need a set of heads-up to guide you throughout a whole other experience again. Seriously, you do not want another morning-after guilt drama all over again, do you?
Be in control of yourself
The most important thing is to know yourself and take control of it. It is when you are unsure of what you want that you get frustrated if you are doing the right thing or you’re just screwing things up. That’s when you raise the white flag and you blame yourself for everything. Reflect on how you feel after doing certain actions. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your psyche. Know its likes and dislikes, the things that make it comfortable or not, and the things it craves for versus the things it condemns. That way, the next time you feel like doing it again, you might already be able to “man up” for the next 30 minutes and beyond and prevent a morning-after a disaster from ever happening again.
Any person can feel guilty, even if you are a newbie to casual sex or not. Moreover, feeling guilty does not mean you are any less of a person. It just takes a matter of self-evaluation, a lot of self-control, and the idea of how you have made yourself happy the night before, to get you through the morning-after.