Dumping someone can be pretty hard, most especially when it’s the guy who has to do it. And because many of them do not know what to do, they end up sticking with the girl. If the girl has feelings for the man, this scenario will only hurt her more. Other guys deal with the situation by being silent. Still it makes the girl hopeful.
This dilemma is faced by men who engage in all sorts of dating (except for a few guys who are not intimated by the fact of dumping a girl). Maybe casual dating should make it easier for the guy to dump a girl . . . Or maybe not. It still depends on how the guy does it and what kind of relationship they have managed to build. Regardless of the situation, it is important to treat the lady politely. So for guys out there who are casually dating girls online and want to dump them, make sure to do so as soon as possible. Of course, you got to do it politely.
You’ve got two options. Take a look at them and see which one suits your situation.
Totally getting out of the picture
It is when you simply stop communicating with the girl. You no longer respond to text, calls, emails, and IMs. It’s like you just disappeared from the earth.
Advantages: You don’t have to feel awkward about telling the girl that you’re dumping her. She will eventually get the hint and understand what you’re doing.
Disadvantages: It shows that you are a coward and you are still immature. The girl might be left wondering what you did not like about her or what went wrong. Simply put, this is not the most polite action to take.
Telling the person directly
Email the girl and tell her in a polite manner that it is not working out or you can say, “Thanks. But this is not going anywhere”.
Advantages: It shows that you are decisive and mature. In case you see the person in the same dating site or a different one a couple of months after, you don’t have to avoid her.
Disadvantages: Everyone hates rejection. And that includes the person rejected and the person who has to do it. It’s uncomfortable, awkward, and makes you look like you’re a bad person.
What is the best thing to do?
Wait for the girl to contact you
Cross your fingers and hope that she doesn’t. A fade out is very much possible especially in casual online dating.
What If she contacts you?
Respond politely. Tell her straight out about how you feel. Let the girl know that you’d like to talk to her, but be sure not to make it seem like it’s something very important. She might just assume that you like her. Never insult the girl or even think about making fun of her. You can tell her that she’s nice, but you don’t see the relationship blossoming. By being polite, the two of you can get it past the awkward state very easily.
Also, do not make excuses. This is casual dating. Anything can happen. There is no guarantee that you will like the person you meet online.
What else should you keep in mind?
Don’t be mean to the girl
It just does not make sense to be mean to her. You’re already dumping her. Being mean will only hurt her more especially if she really likes you.
Don’t give the girl any hope
It may be casual dating, but women can easily fall for men. If you are good with words, expect a lot of women to fall for you. Giving your girl any hope will not only end up hurting her, but it can also affect you. Don’t expect the girl to stop bothering you if you give her any hope. By being straightforward and polite, everything ends the moment you dump her.
Don’t resort to friendship
If you tell her that you can keep the friendship, expect to chat and exchange emails with her more often. In time she will get attached to you and feelings may resurface. You’ll have to go back to step number 1 when this happens. Although you can be friends at another time (if you still bump into each other online), now is not the right time.
It’s hard to dump someone especially if you were not really dating her. The fact that you met her online should make things easier. Dumping her means ending your emails, chat sessions, and IMs. It means that you are ready to meet someone new. If you are so sure that it is time to dump the girl, make sure to do it politely.